my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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