i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize