oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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