Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
