franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize