Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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