I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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