fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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