Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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