So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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