i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
