Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
