Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize