I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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