Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
