How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
