come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize