Dual....:-)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
