I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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