The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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