Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
