My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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