No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And then my night got REAL pukey
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
