I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
