I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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