Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
