I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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