I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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