I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
