Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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