3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
