Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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