Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
