I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
