Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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