all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
