I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
