Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize