he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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