Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
