It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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