TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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