i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize