You're so nebulous sometimes
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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