Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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