She's JV to your varsity
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You ruined the universe
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
