What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
