i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
