Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
