Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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