so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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