you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize