I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
