he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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