Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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