Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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