hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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