Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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