listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
