i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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