Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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