I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
